Not Alone
by epic win
Summary: Darrow has lost a lot of things in this war, but sometimes he forgets that he's not the only one. Light Darrow/Sevro slash. Lemon.


_Author's Note: So, I wrote this on hour 8 of a 12-hour plane ride, right in the middle of reading Morning Star. I don't think the setting/timing in this fic is quite right, but I was too tired to use my brain. Spoilers for RED RISING, GOLDEN SON, and 1/2 of MORNING STAR._

A week after she left, I still hadn't managed to go anywhere but my room and the dining hall. I was moping.

"Ah-ah, not today." Sevro grabbed my arm, stopping me from heading back to the dark cell I'd been sleeping in. He snatched up my razor so I couldn't run away, and twirled it in his hands.

"I have a gift for you," he declared, grinning. "Well, for us. To cheer us up."

"To cheer US up? Your girlfriend hasn't just abandoned you, what do you need cheering up for?"

"Oh, you know, nothing really. Just my father dying, our operation collapsing, all of our friends either stabbing us in the back or dying for us, that sort of thing..." Sevro's face is blank, but his words cut. He's been hurt, just like me. Maybe even more so.

He doesn't show it now, though. Just puts his snarky face back on and makes a joke about his balls. I'm sick of hearing about his sack.

"This way, Reap." He pulls me towards his own quarters, just a few twists and turns away. His rooms are always dark and musty smelling, as if he's growing mushrooms in the corners. Which, now that I think about it, seems kind of likely- he and his Howlers have nights where they don't sleep, they just make fires and howl and thrash about.

I turn to open his door, but he pulls me past it. "Where are wegoing?" I ask.

He grins. "Somewhere a little bit nicer. For the occasion."

He leads me to the Captain's quarters. Technically they're mine, but I never use them. Too empty, too cold. Too lonely.

He throws open the door, and inside are all the fixings of a good old-fashioned orgy, Luna style. On the table is a feast, but instead of golden plates and bowls, it's served atop two lovely Pinks. Small vials of Quick are tucked between their legs.

I sigh. "You know I don't do this, Sev."

"Neither do I," he replies. "But why the fuck not? We don't have to be miserable." Something in his voice makes me pause. I don't think he's talking about the Pinks.

"They're slaves, Sevro. This goes against literally everything we're working towards."

"These two aren't," he says. He slaps the thigh of the girl closest to him, upsetting a small dish of coconut milk. It runs down her leg. "Are you?"

"No," she purrs. I almost don't believe her- what would a Pink be doing in the revolution? - but she turns to me next, her eyes round and sparkling like the Pinks' do. "I can't fight, Lord Reaper, but I want my people to be free, same as you do. You were trained to fight and kill and that's how you're helping the cause- I was trained to make you blush, and if that helps, then that's what I want to do."

Her friend doesn't speak- I assume because her mouth is stuffed with cherries- but she reaches out to caress me with her delicate hands. The Golds knew what they were doing when they made the Pinks. They're all fresh and sweet and doe-eyed, and even when I try and ignore it, they awaken so many things in me. I look at this girl lying on the marble dining table, and I want to protect her and possess her all at once. I can tell Sevro is feeling the same, as he runs a finger along the other girl's cheek softer than I've ever seen him touch anything.

And why not? Just like he said, why the fuck not? I laid myself bare before Mustang, and she left me. She didn't kill me, but walking away was somehow even worse. When she left, she took part of me with her, and I'm starting to think it was the only good part I had.

So why the fuck not? These girls aren't expecting love. They probably don't want it, not from us. Not from two scraggly boys playing at war.

"Why the fuck not?" I hear myself say, and Sevro whoops. He plucks a cherry from the Pink's mouth, but she catches his hand.

"You know the rules," the other one says. "No touching until you've had your medicine first!"

We both laugh, not because it's funny, but because we never imagined ourselves here. This is what our enemies do- take drugs and gorge themselves on food and beauty. Not us.

Not till tonight.

"As you wish," I say, quoting a film from long ago. I open the girl's legs and position myself in front of her, taking the vial of golden liquid between my lips and pulling it out. She smells like honey and jasmine, which makes me sad for a moment because it's so different from real life. My wife was like earth and musk and a little rust, and Mustang always smelled like pavement after rain. This is not my world.

But the Quick helps me forget. I down it in one swallow, and the world immediately explodes. The room is alive with color, and I swear I can feel everyone's heart beating in time with mine. Everything is covered in a layer of haze and honey. Little details jump out and big ones fade away, until the world is unrecognizable. The cherries in the small girl's mouth are no longer cherries but bright red galaxies in space, and I long to feel one burst in my mouth.

And so the feast is devoured, Sevro and I in a haze of delight and the girls happy to feed our frenzy. When the food is gone, only bare skin remains.

The first girl ("My name is Lux," she says, after I call her "girl" too many times) has milky-pink skin, and her nipples look like little rosebuds. The other one, ("Bambi," she says, "like the deer,") is bronze and gold with dark between her legs. I prefer the deer, but Sevro is already lifting her off the table. Even as a halfbred Gold, his impressive form makes her look like a child in his arms. It's kind of fucked up when you think about it. Who engineers a breed of sex slaves that are only half your size?

I turn back to the Pink and extend my hand to her. Instead of taking it to help herself up, she takes one of my fingers into her mouth. I'm surprised at how good it feels. Her tongue is nimble and the Quick is pulsing in me strong, and my brain must be confused because I almost think she's sucking on me where she should be.

She must see it in my eyes because she laughs, a lovely little chirping sound that makes me think of the birds we slaughtered at the Academy. Without my help, she slinks off the table and makes her way over to the bed. I watch her hips sway, mesmerized.

Sevro and the deer are already intertwined. He lost his clothing between the dining room and the bed, so I look away. Golds aren't supposed to care about nudity, but Reds do. Even drugged ones.

My little rose puts on a show for me. She gets herself in between the other two, snaking the deer's hands from Sevro's chest to her hair, mouth from his hips to her breast. They nuzzle and writhe together, making sweet sounds that the Quick turns electric like sparks against my skin. Sevro, laying on his back with his head hanging over the edge, grins at me upside-down.

"I've got an excellent view from down here, Commander. You should join me."

I can't tell if it's the Quick playing tricks on me, but his words sound heavy and seductive.

My rose pulls herself away from her playmate and turns to me, pulling the rough tunic over my head and throwing it to the floor. It hits Sevro's upturned face instead, and he laughs. The girls laugh with him and I feel suddenly warm and light and not alone.

I'm not alone.

The laughter bursts out of me then too, and we all collapse in a pile on the bed. Someone pulls my leggings off, and someone is surprised that I wear nothing underneath them. Never did in Red.

The deer is spread out before me, so I help myself to the darkness I was eyeing earlier. She sounds surprised at first, but quickly gives in. I like the surprise. From what Mustang said after I surprised her too, Golds don't usually focus on pleasing others, just getting pleasure themselves.

We lose ourselves to it. The Quick messes with your sense of time, so it could have been minutes or hours we went, when suddenly the deer screeches out, holding her hands to her face. Blood drips from between her fingers, and there is blood smeared over the other girl's elbow. An accident of love.

The rose leaps up and hurries the bleeding girl out of the room, leaving Sevro and I positioned awkwardly on the bed. "And I was just getting into it," he grumbles.

"Oh, what, so she should have stayed and bled all over us?"

"I don't mind a little blood," he says, licking his lips.

I look at him in disgust. "You're revolting."

He chuckles softly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Never said I wasn't."

In my mind, I always picture Sevro with a scowl or cracking some sick joke. But as I look at him now, he seems... peaceful. In the soft light of the candles dotting the room, his hair no longer looks dirty brown but a soft, rosy gold.

And he wears my own eyes, the red like a spark of fire in his face. They suit him.

I don't notice that he is staring back at me until the rose bursts through the door, filling the air with her jasmine scent.

She climbs gracefully onto the bed again, a finger trailing down both of our thighs. "Well now." Her nails graze the skin. "Who shall I pick first?"

I'm startled by the pain and cry out. She alights on me with glee.

"Lord Reaper," she purrs. She takes her hand from Sevro's thigh and forces me down on my knees. She's about to lower herself onto me, but I pull her head towards me instead. The Quick can't make me forget everything, and there's only two women in the world I want to be inside of like that. She doesn't complain.

Nothing against my wife and Mustang, but there's something to be said for being trained your whole life in giving pleasure. It's so intense that I forget myself, letting myself fall into the shimmering haze of the Quick. I don't realize I'm moaning until I catch Sevro staring at me.

His hands are pleasuring himself, and he's looking right at me. When I meet his gaze, he doesn't look away.

The rose is still working me with her mouth, and I can't think straight through the pleasure. When Sevro moves closer to me, I don't move away.

I can feel him breathing hard, and then he's so close I can feel the motion of his hand against my hips. The rose moves over to make room.

When he puts his mouth on mine, I moan.

He moves his free hand to grip the back of my head, twining his fingers in my hair. He's a little rough, but I never imagined him to be gentle.

The rose is bringing me close. I'm panting. "I- I'm gonna come," I whisper against his lips.

He gasps, and I feel his wetness against my hip. He grinds against me, hand pulling at my hair, and that's all it takes to send me over the edge. I fill the rose's mouth.

Later, when the rose has left us and we are lying there in the dark, he gently laces his fingers with mine. I pull away.

"You planned that," I say.

"You liked it," he answers, and reaches for my hand again. This time, I reach back.

We are not alone.


End file.
